Failure is Essential

To preface this I wanted to say that I know it's been a while, but I still feel as if this blog is an important part of expressing myself. Please see my post entitled, "I am not a 'Blogger'" for more details of that nature. 

This post is more "serious" than my others have been, but something that is full of some undeveloped thoughts I've been having. Enjoy.

There’s nothing quite like the feeling of accomplishment. This semester I was especially thrilled, because my goal of becoming more self-sufficient was turning into somewhat of a reality! I had landed a job on campus, and I was preparing to be a director for Social. I was proud of myself for pursuing and obtaining meaningful and rare work that would enable me to provide for myself! However, not long ago I got an email from my job saying that I’d need to choose between being a director and working for them.

Initially, I was disappointed, and discouraged. (Alma 26:27) It was very clear to me that I needed to remain with Social, but the thought of calling my mom to say, “I’m going to need some help” was humbling. Things had been so perfect, and now I felt like I’d failed. Conveniently, my personal studies and thoughts had been dwelling on what it means to fail already, so I felt somewhat prepared to cope with the turn of events. (1 Nephi 3:7) There are so many facets to what failure is and why we need it that I hope I can adequately convey not only what is on my mind, but also something that will be valued by you.

I had the privilege to attend Movement Conference (MCON) this summer where the topic of failure was discussed frequently. It was spoken of as a mode of growth, maturity, and as a prerequisite to success – even a rite of passage in Silicon Valley. To increase the rate of success you must also increase the potential rate of failure. There is a method of thinking which says we need to fail fast and we need to fail hard. Have the foresight to see where we might fail, embrace that reality, and make the necessary adjustments (mentally or literally) so when we do fail we’re ready. My high school choir teacher always told us that if we were going to sing the wrong note to sing it loudly so we could fix it. Ultimately, our failures are what lead us to success! If we never fail we’ll never be forced to improve.

This also leads me to wonder how we define success. If we are forever defining success by what we perceive to be a social expectation then we will never be happy or successful. “Tossed to and fro, and carried about by every wind” (Eph. 4:14) of trend and social faux pas. In the parable of the wealthy man who was asked to give up all he had and follow the Savior he was being asked to give up not only his riches, but perhaps also his social status, and other prideful gratifications. In order to sacrifice for a greater cause, even the greatest cause, our Savior, we must be humble. (Matt. 19:20-23, Alma 32:14) It can become exasperating when we’ve made good, righteous goals and they’re frustrated for no apparent reason, but when we can humbly see the opportunities that come from an initially negative situation we are in the process of consecrating ourselves. (Matt. 5:45, 3 Nephi 28:39) So keep making good goals that are stretching even if they don’t become a reality as soon as you’d wish. Those “failures” will push you to see new ways to accomplish your goals, lead you to new friendships, and change your perspective.

While on my mission I wondered how I’d know when I was doing enough. I wasn’t accomplishing all my goals, and I didn’t feel like I could know if I was giving my mission everything I had. My mission president directed me to Alma 29 and told me to “reconcile myself to my own limitations”. In this chapter Alma is lamenting that he isn’t an angel! He wishes he had the capability to cry repentance to every nation! But then he says that he “ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted unto [him]”. He reconciled himself to his circumstance. This being said, I do not wish to trivialize the pain, guilt, discouragement, or frustration that come from the circumstances aforementioned. Even if we can manage to reconcile ourselves to see our perceived failures as opportunities, it will probably still sting. That pain is not dismissed. My thoughts turn to the Savior – He who was praised and sought after and then “despised and rejected of all men”. Think of His crucifixion; while on the cross He cried “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?”, but then humbly submitted His will saying, “Father, it is finished, thy will is done.” (Matt. 27:46, 50 JSH) His perceived failure was actually the pinnacle of His success. His actions enabled the rest of humankind to not only to live, but to “succeed gloriously”. (Elder Scott, Oct. 1989)

Let your failures define you in an enabling way. The more comfortable we are with failure the more likely we are to succeed. Referring to my personal experience I had not long ago, having to give up a job I wanted was a blessing. Being able to choose between two good things is such an opportunity! One I took for granted! Now someone else who needs a job has one. Now I appreciate the opportunities I’m having through Social so much more because I’ve had to sacrifice for it. Do I still wish I had a job? Of course. But do I regret my decision? Not at all. It is a divine gift to be able to choose, even if it’s just our perspective. (Moses 5:10-11) In the words of President Monson, “one of God’s greatest gifts to us is the joy of trying again, for no failure ever need be final”. (Apr. 1987)